How do we do it? How do we connect with the much-discussed relational aspect of embodiment in both our practice and lives? How do we find those roots, those connections, that web of affection that links us with others? How does the subtle energy of the sambkogakaya actually reveal itself to us?

These sorts of questions offered a loose frame to one of our Gathering discussions recently. Starting out as a kind of Q&A between myself and another member, it gradually evolved into a beautiful conversation in which experiences, insights, revelations, hypotheses and discoveries were shared by all.

From this, three suggestions have lingered through recent days. I know there were more and, truth be told, somewhere there is a scrap of paper with a few of these hastily scrawled upon its surface. But I have no idea where this scrap might be found and this trio has been a near-constant companion of late: (1) assume the relational body is always in evidence; (2) allow it to assume whatever shape or form it assumes for you; and (3) don’t try and figure it out.

Meditation is not about making things up. The practice is, instead, about discovering what’s there. When the tradition describes the sambkogakaya for us (the relational/subtle body), rather than being told what to believe, we are being invited to explore what’s there using the teachings as something of a map. With this in mind, I often affirm to myself that what is being pointed to by whatever teaching is there – I simply need to familiarize with how and when it shows up for me.

Which leads to Suggestion 2: try not to insist your experience of the relational body be any particular way. The other day, for instance, I passed several hours with Atticus Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird. To be clear, this was not any Atticus Finch. This was Gregory Peck, with his broad shoulders and his white suit and his George Clooney hair; this was that particular Atticus Finch. I can’t imagine there is any teaching anywhere that offers this as an example of our rooted connectedness – but for that small stretch of time, this was it for me!

And now we have Suggestion 3 ready to go: don’t try to figure it out. Why Atticus Finch? Why this Atticus Finch? What does it mean? What is it suggesting? Where is it leading to? As tempting as these questions are to grab onto, just let them linger in the air around you – doing their thing, but not distracting your connection with whatever manifestation(s) of our relational embeddedness you are right now in the presence of.

Pretty good guidelines, in my experience. Pretty good replies to those quite understandable questions.